My lover

My lover

She was my lover, my mistress,

She controlled me, intoxicated me,

I thought I could leave her,

She would allow my life to continue.

My vice, her flavour,

Her caramel colouring, her sweet taste,

I would miss her hit, her high,

But I could leave whenever I wanted.

I was in control.

I broke my ties,

Destroyed all paraphernalia, all memories of her,

I walked away, not daring to glance back.

I tried, really I did.

I managed two whole hours,

Filled with emptiness, loss, longing.

I couldn’t go on.

She was there waiting, expecting me to fail.

I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t just walk away, just leave her,

Coffee, she was in my blood.