She was my lover, my mistress,
She controlled me, intoxicated me,
I thought I could leave her,
She would allow my life to continue.
My vice, her flavour,
Her caramel colouring, her sweet taste,
I would miss her hit, her high,
But I could leave whenever I wanted.
I was in control.
I broke my ties,
Destroyed all paraphernalia, all memories of her,
I walked away, not daring to glance back.
I tried, really I did.
I managed two whole hours,
Filled with emptiness, loss, longing.
I couldn’t go on.
She was there waiting, expecting me to fail.
I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t just walk away, just leave her,
Coffee, she was in my blood.